<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>A Fresh Haircut by Special_boy_7485</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26867854">A Fresh Haircut</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Special_boy_7485/pseuds/Special_boy_7485'>Special_boy_7485</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Owl House (Cartoon)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Amity has sensory processing issues, Angst with a Happy Ending, Boscha is a bitch but I still love her, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Gay Disaster Amity Blight, Hoodie being loud doesn't help, Hurt/Comfort, Luz Noceda has ADHD, Luz is an amazing emotionally supportive girlfriend, Neurological Disorders, Panic Attacks</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 18:54:02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,672</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26867854</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Special_boy_7485/pseuds/Special_boy_7485</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>She's looking at luz Through the Mirror, and she can see the humans hesitation. Their eyes meet, Luz is still searching for approval. It makes her skin burn a little less. So Amity gives her a small smile, and then without another word, luz's hand is in her hair, and her eyes are closed as the guard touches her scalp.</p>
<p>or</p>
<p>In an act of defiance against her mother, Amity decides to shave her head. Luz helps her deal with it. Amity has sensory processing issues and Luz knows how to deal with them. </p>
<p>This was inspired by this Tumblr <a href="https://frenchtoaasty.tumblr.com/post/628376662656090112/what-if-instead-of-dyeing-her-hair-back-to-brown">post</a></p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Amity Blight &amp; Edric Blight &amp; Emira Blight &amp; Luz Noceda, Amity Blight/Luz Noceda</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>228</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. The cut</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I have sensory processing issues, so if I portray my own thing wrong, I'm sorry.  I also have ADHD doesn't mean I know how to write characters that have it, though. Feel free to check out the Tumblr <a href="https://frenchtoaasty.tumblr.com/post/628376662656090112/what-if-instead-of-dyeing-her-hair-back-to-brown">post</a> that made me want to write this.</p>
    </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I have sensory processing issues, so if I portray my own thing wrong, I'm sorry. I also have ADHD, which doesn't mean I know how to write characters that have it. Feel free to check out the Tumblr post that made me want to write this.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Are you ready?" Luz's concerned voice falls to her ears, which are currently pinned down with an emotion she can't quite place.</p>
<p>She wants this.</p>
<p>Which is why Amity is currently sitting on a stool in the owl houses bathroom. Looking at the counter that had previously been covered in a variety of different shaped bottles and containers. She assumes most of them were the Owl lady's. Maybe hair products? They're all in a box in the corner.</p>
<p>She can't exactly focus on what's happening right now.</p>
<p>Luz had given her some sort of atrociously yellow squishy cylinders. They were supposed to be the human form of a deafening spell? She can't remember what she had called them.</p>
<p>"I'm ready," her voice feels far away, so muffled.</p>
<p>She's not used to this. Every inch of her body is alert and on edge. She can't hear the quiet breathing of the house or The Creeks of the floorboards. The baggy shirt she's wearing is too rough on her skin. There's some sort of tag on it, and it itches at the back of her neck. It almost Burns her.</p>
<p>It's causing her to focus on her breathing. It's shaky, too shaky. She tries to steady it as Luz turns on the clippers.</p>
<p>They buzzed to life, making Amity flinch, and she's suddenly very glad for the ear thingies because that noise is a little unsettling In her current state, and it's still loud. She doesn't know if she can handle it.</p>
<p>She's looking at luz Through the Mirror, and she can see the humans hesitation. Their eyes meet, Luz is still searching for approval. It makes her skin burn a little less. So Amity gives her a small smile, and then without another word, luz's hand is in her hair, and her eyes are closed as the guard touches her scalp.</p>
<p>The Clippers make a different noise as they meet the resistance of her hair. Amity can't open her eyes. There are too many things happening. Her nerves are burning, and despite all that, one of those hands is on her ears, slightly pulling it back so the Clippers can reach the space around her ear.</p>
<p>She can feel the weight of the hair on her shoulders. It’s no longer connected to her. No longer a part of her. Something about the mint green leaving her makes her happy. Almost like her mother doesn't have complete control over her life. This experience probably won't be lovely, yet it's not even close to as excruciating as the last time someone had touched her hair.</p>
<p>The smell of the chemicals had lingered for weeks. Her mother's hands had been so rough, trying to force the green into her hair. She had pulled, not caring how much it hurt her. It was almost like she was putting Abomination goo on her skin, she could feel it sticking to the already irritated parts of her scalp. It made her feel disgusting. And her mother hadn't cared. She had only wanted to erase every trace of the almost Ginger brown hair she could find. She couldn't so much as lay down without being in pain after that. The minute her head touched the pillow, it was pure agony.</p>
<p>She was brought back into the moment when Luz brushed hair off the back of her neck. Her breathing was still shaky, and her eyes were starting to water. And just like that, Luz was done, and she moved in front of Amity, taking her hands in hers.</p>
<p>"Hey, Ammy." Her ears perked up at the nickname. "Can you do something for me?” She doesn't know if she can talk right now. “I want you to count to four as you breathe in. Just copy what I do" Luz's thumb is rubbing soothing circles over the back of her knuckles. "Then hold that breath in for seven seconds." The contact is warm but it doesn't burn. She follows the instructions as closely as possible. "And then exhale for 8." They sit there for a minute, just breathing until she is steady, and her skin stops burning.</p>
<p>"Is it okay if I take the earplugs out?" Luz's soft voice is right next to her ear. But she can't talk, so she gives a slight nod of her head. Hands cup her ears and gently remove the earplugs.</p>
<p>"Hey, beautiful," it's a whisper. It's so faint, and she thinks she might have imagined it. "You're so strong," there's a kiss on the tip of her ear. "it's going to be okay."</p>
<p>She doesn't open her eyes. She's not quite ready to see herself. She waits until Luz is done cleaning unsightly mint green pieces of her hair off the floor. Until after she showered and changed into a softer shirt. Until she's laying in a pile of soft blankets and Luz's room. Until she snuggled into Luz's side in the dark. Until Luz is whispering quiet praises as she falls asleep.</p><hr/>
<p>She wakes up a couple of hours later. Her human is still curled around her. Deciding it wouldn't be a good idea to get up, she draws a small spell circle summoning a mirror. It floats above her, emitting a soft purple light, which is just enough for her to see her reflection. The site of herself almost shocks her, not because she doesn't like the cut, she just doesn't remember the last time she saw herself with brown hair. It's almost red in its intensity. Ginger? It is the complete opposite of the mint green she had before. It brings a smile to her face.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I still believe that everybody should shave their head at least once. It'll give you a big confidence boost.</p>
<p>au revoir.</p>
<p>P.S</p>
<p>If you would like more information on sensory issues, you can visit this <a href="https://www.understood.org/en/learning-thinking-differences/child-learning-disabilities/sensory-processing-issues/understanding-sensory-processing-issues?utm_source=google&amp;utm_medium=paid&amp;utm_campaign=evrgrn-may20-fm&amp;gclid=CjwKCAjwq_D7BRADEiwAVMDdHot62ysMgOyYvai7Wksz2uR1I8hfKae0orIVWJyQqNE1CcMATzXkUxoCHgYQAvD_BwE"> website </a></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. First day back</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>This chapter is mainly fluff until Boscha misgenders Amity for about 2 seconds.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>God writing dialogue is hard; anyway, enjoy the chapter. I might start posting every Tuesday, but considering I'm a full-time college student with a major in engineering, I don't have a lot of free time.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Amity pulls her cowl over her head as she gets dressed. Her ears shake slightly. She didn't realize how cold she would be. The parts of her that are typically covered by hair are exposed. Her head was not used to getting this much air time. Her ears touch her shirt as she pulls it over her head.</p>
<p>She hadn't expected the sudden vulnerability. Something was unsettling about the back of her head being visible. She couldn't just lean down to let her hair fall over her face. There was no hiding from any wandering eyes. And unless she perfectly hid her emotions, they were out in the open—Ready for anybody to take advantage of.</p>
<p>Her field of vision was different, nothing was obstructed, and yet she found herself continuously sending a stream of air up the side of her nose to blow hair out of her eyes. It didn't matter that there wasn't any hair there. She's only been awake for 20 minutes, and she's already done it seven times; she doesn't remember doing it that much.</p>
<p>She looks into the mirror; her own reflection was a little foreign to her. Big golden eyes stare back, twinkling with a tired sort of defiance, messy short Tufts of Ginger, with no mint insight. One of her eyebrows arches higher as a smirk forms on her lips. It's beautiful, and it’s one of the biggest things she's ever done for herself. Not to please someone else, not to appease her mother's standard of perfection, this is hers and hers alone. She just needed time to get used to it. This is a direct Act of defiance against her mother, and she knows it. She knows when she gets home, she might not be welcome back, she doesn't care anymore. She doesn't care what that woman thinks of her; Amity refuses to be her puppet. She's done.</p>
<p>"Amity!" Yelled the destructive force that was Luz Noceda, as she came rushing into the bathroom. "You look so good, your jawline is so sharp."</p>
<p>A blush spread across her cheeks, traveling down from the tips of her ears. There's no hiding from that either.</p>
<p>"Thank you for yesterday, for letting me sleepover” The words catch in her throat. “for cutting my hair… for everything, it means a lot to me," she feels light-headed. </p>
<p>She had woken up in Luz's arms, her face protectively buried in the human's neck. There had also been a hand, not in her hair, because her hair wasn't long enough for that, but maybe on her hair? It had been so gingerly placed at the back of her skull. Almost like Luz had been trying to comfort her. <i>Titan, this girl really is too good for her</i></p>
<p>"Earth to Amity, are you still in there?" The human paused for a minute. "what planet is the Boiling Isles on?"</p>
<p>This brought Amity back to reality. She ignored that question, not knowing what she meant.</p>
<p>"We're going to be late for school if we don't hurry." She tried to push down the nerves. If it got too bad, she could just pull the hood of her cowl over her head. <i>Right?</i> She took a deep breath.</p>
<p>"let me just take my meds and we can go." Luz went to one of the drawers and pulled out a small circular container, she unscrewed the cap and slid it to the M. She then proceeded to dump the contents into her hand. She left the container on the counter and grabbed Amity's hand, dragging her right down the stairs and into the kitchen. She got a glass of water and quickly took her pills, the little pink one gave her no issue but she grimaced as the blue capsule stuck to the back of her throat. That feeling had always bothered Luz and she greedily drank the rest of the water to get rid of it.</p>
<p>Amity barely had time to grab her bag, as Luz took her hand again. She yelled a quick goodbye to Eda and they were out the door. The owl tube seems to be distracted with some sort of bug; he doesn't realize that they're halfway gone when Amity hears him yell.</p>
<p>“HoOt HoOt LuZ, hAvE fUn EaTiNg BoOkS aT sChOoL! HoOt!" The sound makes Amity want to rip her eardrums out. She's never met anyone who can make her as uncomfortable as that hellish house demon can. Something about his voice just sets her off.</p>
<p>Their walk through the forest had only taken about 4 minutes. Amity tried not to panic as she squeezed Luz's hand tighter. <i>This was no big deal; she goes to school all the time, so why is she freaking out?</i></p>
<p> "It'll be fine," Luz said, giving Amity's hand a gentle squeeze back. "“I don't know if shaving your head has the same context as it does on Earth, but I know Willow and Gus won't have a problem with it and we can deal with the other people together. Okay?” and somehow Luz knows exactly what Amity needs to hear. <i>How does she always know what I need?</i></p>
<hr/>
<p>Boscha sits on the stairwell, Scarra, and the rest of her mob off on a drink run somewhere. This leaves her to scroll through pinsta; Amity’s feed has been pretty quiet recently. She wonders if it has something to do with the human.</p>
<p>She doesn't understand why Amity hangs out with her so much. What is it that she sees in her? She’s just a human. Her ears are pretty exotic, and she is pretty cute but eye candy aside. She hangs out with Willow, and that's just too far of a line for Boscha.</p>
<p>The eye she's not using on her scroll catches a glimpse of Ginger hair and multi-colored tights. Who is the human hanging out with now? He looks cute.</p>
<p>She gets up, deciding to go warn the guy away from the human. They're both standing there with their backs to her. This gives her the perfect opportunity to grab the guy by the hips to pull him away from the human.</p>
<p>"Hello, there handsome," there's a decided Lilt to her voice that makes Amity's blood run cold. The minute her hands make contact, Amity almost jumps a foot into the air. As she's pulled away from Luz, she lets out of decidedly girlish squeak.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you for all the support I've gotten; it's almost been a decade since I've written fanfiction.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Conniption: TRIGGER WARNING!</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p><b>TRIGGER WARNING!: Panic attacks, cussing, mild violence </b> </p>
<p>In this chapter, Boscha realizes that <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iZlpsneDGBQ">her actions have consequences.</a> Luz wants to beat her up, and Amity needs a hug or maybe not.</p>
<p>One of my professors just put out a 108 question lab, each question requires a four-paragraph answer and for you to watch a video with it, so I'm sorry if this chapter is a little short. By the end of the weekend, I'll probably have either another chapter up or I will update this one.</p>
<p> I just updated this one, hears some Boscha POV.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>if my translations are bad, at least I'll make somebody who knows the language laugh. I feel like I won't be able to write Luz unless she's talking in a little bit of Spanish when she's angry, I'm going to take a wild guess and say that people who know two languages revert to their first language when they're in a state of panic. <b>ten en cuenta que no hablo español. Solo tomé dos años en español en la escuela secundaria lo siento</b> (please keep in mind that I don't speak Spanish. I only took two years in Spanish in high school I'm sorry)<br/><br/><b>¡Juro por Dios!</b>(I swear to God)<br/><b>¡No puedes simplemente tocar a la gente!</b> (You can't just touch people)<br/><b>¡Maldita excusa ridícula de una bruja!</b> (damn ridiculous excuse for a witch)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Amity <b>hates</b> being touched, so it's no surprise when her elbow moves on instinct, slamming straight into Boscha's kidney, hard. This causes The Grudgby captain to double over, falling to the ground and letting out a muffled groan of pain.</p>
<p>Amity's whole body is on fire. Her skin feels wrong; it starts to burn. Her clothes are too tight, and even the soft fabric of her shirt starts to itch. The sun is blaring down, and she can feel it on her scalp. It's too warm, and there's too much light in her eyes, and everything is just too much. Her heartbeat is so loud, and all she can hear is static. She blinks, her eyes immediately start to tear up. She is shaking so violently that her vision is blurry.</p>
<p>"Do. Not. Touch. Me." She knows she's speaking, but she can't hear it. Her voice is cold, teeth gritted, and she doesn't remember when she turned around to face Boscha. She can feel hot tears run down her cheeks. Fear stabs into her heart like ice, so cold that it burns everything it touches. Her throat starts to close like someone is choking her; her chest feels heavy. She can feel herself starting to hyperventilate, and she doesn't know how to stop. She's so light-headed, and there are spots in her vision. Her head feels like it's in a vice as pressure clamps down on her temples.</p>
<p>"Amity!" Luz sounds so worried. Her voice is so far away. She's so dizzy, and she almost feels weightless. She wobbles on her feet, the frame of her vision moves up suddenly like she's falling, but her brain doesn't process.</p>
<p>And then there's nothing.</p>
<hr/>
<p>"Amity!" Luz screams, her heart clenching down in fear. Instinct takes over, and she's moving inhumanly fast, trying desperately to catch Amity before she hits the ground. She just barely makes it. She can feel her muscles straining as her hands grasp at Amity's shoulders. She barely puts any pressure into the touch. Luz’s eyes roam over her body, and once she's made sure Amity is still breathing, her angry gaze is on Boscha.</p>
<p>The pink-haired Witch is just sitting there, completely shell shocked. There's an emotion that Luz has never seen before swirling in her eyes. Boscha knows Amity doesn't like to be touched. But she hadn't realized it was her and she never expected her to react like that. Sure she had helped Amity through some of her smaller panic attacks, but she had never seen anything like this before.</p>
<p>"Boscha…" All she can feel is rage, she knows she needs to calm down, But the amount of adrenaline that is flooding her brain isn't just going to go away. She doesn't meet Luz's eyes and continues to stare at Amity's unconscious body.</p>
<p>"What were you thinking!" one of her eyes is still on Amity as her other two look to the human; she doesn't think she's ever seen her this angry. Luz is almost shaking as she gingerly places Amity on the ground. Once she's settled, Luz turns around, taking a few steps forward.</p>
<p>She looked absolutely feral. Her jaw was clenched, shoulders hunched, pupils dilated. She was shaking, muscles flexing with an uneasy tension. The emotion currently visible on her face was like nothing Boscha had ever seen before; the usual Sunny disposition that Luz had was gone, replaced by something made of blood and anger.</p>
<p>Boscha is fucking terrified, and she freezes as fears icy grip takes hold of her body.</p>
<p>She doesn't move as Luz's hand tightens in the fabric of her shirt and pulls her up off the ground. It almost chokes her, and her hands wrap around Luz's wrist. The human hadn't pulled her high enough for Boscha to get her feet under her, so she just kind of hung there, Luz's arms the only thing holding her up.</p>
<p>"What! The! Fuck! Were! You! Thinking!" She enunciates every last word, She's shaking her, and she's screaming in her face. She's never heard Luz cuss before, and the look she is giving her is pure murder.</p>
<p>"¡Juro por Dios!” Boscha has no idea what she's saying, and it makes her even more nervous. “¡No puedes simplemente tocar a la gente!”</p>
<p>"I didn't know... I'm sor" Luz cuts her off with a quick right hook to the jaw as she lets the fabric slip free of her hand, and the potions major Is sent stumbling to the ground, landing flat on her ass, hands scraping on the dirt...</p>
<p>“¡Maldita excusa ridícula de una bruja!”Her lip is busted, she can taste blood in her mouth, and her jaw is sure to be purple tomorrow. Boscha looks at Amity, and her gaze shifts to the floor. She looks remorseful, and Luz's anger waivers slightly as a sudden wave of guilt hits her. Boscha just sits there; Luz had expected her to fight back.</p>
<p>Luz grimaces, pushing out a forceful breath of air as she turns around.</p>
<p>"Tell Edric and Emira to meet me in the shortcut room." And without another word, the human was scooping Amity into her arms and walking away.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <a href="https://youtu.be/sHiDAF6joDc">Boscha</a>
</p>
<p>
  <em>What the hell is wrong with me, I shouldn't feel bad about this.</em>
</p>
<p>She stood in front of the illusion track homeroom, trembling slightly. She didn't understand why she was having such a problem with this. She couldn't get Amity's face out of her head. It was contorted in pain, stained with tears, and in a sense of pure unbridled fear.</p>
<p>
  <em>She had caused that.</em>
</p>
<p>She had known Amity didn't like being touched, but she'd never seen that. It was so far past anything she could have ever expected. She hadn't been meant to see that, it was an invasion of Amity’s privacy. She felt like she had violated her trust. Like she had betrayed her closest friend, but how was she supposed to know it was her? Amity hadn't had that color hair in years, and Boscha would have never thought she'd shaver head. </p>
<p>
  <em>It looked good on her. No. I'm Not going down that line of thoughts.</em>
</p>
<p>She took a deep breath, forcing her emotions down; neatly packing them into a little box, and shoving them into the back corner of her brain. She could deal with them later. The pink witch forced a sickly sweet smile onto her face, slipping back into her facade as she knocked on the door.</p>
<p>It swung open with a spell circle.</p>
<p>"Boscha?" The teacher looked confused to see the potions major. “Why are you standing in front of my door?" The purple demon asked. She was looking down at Boscha, all three of her eyes trained on the witch's face.</p>
<p>She walked into the room, arms folded behind her back."Principal Bump asked me to bring the Blight twins to his office." The lie slips off of her tongue with ease, this wasn't an uncommon occurrence; Edric and Emira were always getting into trouble. </p>
<p>The demon let out a sigh of frustration, "what did they do this time?” she paused, The veil of her hat billowing as she tilted her head. “Actually, I don't want to know, just take them."</p>
<p>Boscha’s eyes meet Emira’s and she knows the Blight can see right through her.</p>
<p>“let's go losers”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>The first time I ever had a panic attack, I didn't know what was going on. so I ran to my next class and locked myself in the bathroom. This bathroom was across campus from where my panic attack started, behind a locked door and down a flight of stairs. I don't remember how I got there. I was in that bathroom for 30 minutes, 10 of which I wasn't conscious for. I ended up hyperventilating until I blacked out. Looking back on it, I know I made bad decisions, but having someone that I didn't know seeing me like that, would have had me even more panicked. I ended up texting my friend Willow (yes that's her actual name) in the middle of my panic attack. She almost skipped class to check on me but I told her not to. </p>
<p>Oh, and the teacher that spent 40 minutes tormenting me, who caused me to have a panic attack is an anti-vaccine divorced Karen who has a child with autism. She was the kind of person that would post her kid having a meltdown on Facebook and be like "look at what I have to deal with. look how hard my life is" meanwhile she's just neglecting her child. I feel bad for her kid because she knew I was about to have a panic attack, people who didn't like me were asking me if I was okay. I even asked her if I could go to the nurse's office and she told me no and called me ridiculous for freaking out, which is one of the worst things you can do for someone having a panic attack. Keep in mind at this point I was visibly shaking and borderline hyperventilating. She also tried to make us sell her essential oils. Oh man, I have some great memories from the American public education system</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Awakening</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>I told you this was hurt comfort.  Welcome to the hurt.  Luz stops pushing down her emotions, and Amity has a heart-to-heart with her sister. </p>
<p> <b>There are mentions of mental abuse and child abuse and Odalia being a bitch in general; she believes that Amity is a mistake, and this makes me hate her even more because if you tell your child, they are a mistake every day of their life eventually, they start to believe it when they shouldn't.<br/></b></p>
<p> </p>
<p>But for real, this chapter is a little dark.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is kind of supposed to be chapter 5, but I haven't written chapter 4 yet, and I feel bad for not posting in a while, so here you go. I'm almost done with college; one of my professors literally screamed disability in my face, and through paperwork, at somebody else, so that's what I've been dealing with. I wish I could drop his class good thing I won't have to deal with him next semester.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Luz is cursing. She's cursing Boscha, cursing that Amity had to experience that in public, cursing herself for not being able to protect her friends. Logically she knows she couldn't have prevented that from happening, but that doesn't change the way she feels, and right now, she feels too much.</p>
<p>She's walking; she doesn't know where but she needs somewhere where she can yell and scream. She can feel raw energy shaking just below the surface of her skin. There's so much of it, and she's almost vibrating. She needs to do something about it.</p>
<p>She slides one of her hands up into her hair to itch at her scalp. She scratches at any slight imperfection wanting the surface to be smooth beneath her fingertips. When she pulls her hands away minutes later, there's blood under her fingernails.</p>
<p>She pulled out her notebook, starting to draw a glyph; it was a protection spell Eda had taught her quite some time ago. It created an impenetrable soundproof barrier around the caster or the target. With a couple of extra lines, she could also make it a one-way mirror. It takes her about three times before she gets it correct.</p>
<p>
  <em>damn shaky hands.</em>
</p>
<p>She taps the glyph, and the paper starts to Glow a dark purple; all of her magic has been purple lately. She drops the paper as a crystal-like barrier starts to encase her. In the beginning, the edges are Jagged and sharp until they form into a near-perfect sphere. There's a small patch of grass under her feet that has been cut from the Earth.</p>
<p>
  <em>oops,</em>
</p>
<p>Everything the light touches is purple in her little world. Sound means nothing in here, but she knows it'll echo, which is why she carries earplugs. Once the world is muted and muffled, she screams as loud as she can go. Energy is still vibrating beneath her skin, so she begins to punch at the barrier; it moves like the surface of a bubble, not popping or breaking under the tension.</p>
<p>All these bad emotions flow through her head. They're wrong, She knows it, but she lets herself feel instead of pushing them down. Rejection sensitive dysphoria. That's what her therapist had called it. She hadn't known it had a name; that awful feeling in the pit of her stomach when anybody even slightly criticized her.</p>
<p>"That chapter was good, but the characters didn't have enough personality." <em> why should you even continue? You'll never get better. </em>She's too hard on herself.</p>
<p>"Geez, don't take everything so personally, Noceda." <em>Don't be such a crybaby </em>She needs to give herself time to breathe.</p>
<p>"Carino," the soft lilt of her mother's voice echoes through her head, "you make me so proud. You've come a long way."</p>
<p>The guilt hits her like a ton of bricks.</p>
<p><em>What if I never see her again? She's going to think I went missing. She's going to think I'm dead. She's going to spend all her time worrying about me. she deserves better.</em> She can feel hot tears pour down her cheeks. Her mind isn't made of coherent thoughts anymore.</p>
<p>She doesn't exactly know how long she's been in her own world, but the sun has moved in the sky; she feels a lot better now that she's got all of her negative thoughts out of her head.</p><hr/>
<p>The first thing she notices is there's a soft blanket wrapped around her body, it's interacting weird with the fabric of her, shirt pushing her sleeves up her arms. She's not wearing shoes and her socks are touching her ankles. Her head is resting on something warm and there's a hand on her hair, thumb idly scratching behind her ear it's soothing in a way. She knows this can only be her sister, no one else would dare touch her that intimately. She's exhausted, too exhausted to open her eyes and she can't remember the last time she ate. She forces her vocal cords to make a small humming noise.</p>
<p>"There you are mittens" it's a whisper so she knows Emira's doing it for her sake. "when was the last time you ate something?"</p>
<p>Amity only shakes her head in response.</p>
<p>"You can't remember can you?" Emira gives her a knowing smile. She hates it when Amity does this. "you shouldn't neglect yourself, drink this." There's a small pause before a hand is at the nape of her neck, guiding her to sit up.</p>
<p>"Uummm, it's kind of bright in here. You probably want to put these on before you open your eyes." A warm hand caresses her face, and she feels the legs of sunglasses slide onto the tops of her ears. They don't weigh much, and the little pads that press on the side of her nose are slightly uncomfortable but not enough to bother her.</p>
<p>The hand moves lower on her face, and a straw is placed in her mouth, and it's only then she realizes how thirsty she is. It feels like she's been exploring some desert Wasteland and hasn't come across water in years. She greedily drinks, expecting water, only to realize that it's apple juice. This startling realization causes her to sputter, coughing slightly; she can't catch a break today.</p>
<p>“Whoa there mittens. You might want to do that slower?” Emira teases, her hand is now on the small of Amity’s back, padding lightly and trying to help her through her coughing fit. Eventually, she gets it under control, and she drinks the rest of the apple juice Emira was trying to give her. She still feels a little weak, but the sugar in that will probably help her stop shaking.</p>
<p>She opens her eyes, meeting her sister's concerned gaze, and Amity quickly decides eye contact is not a viable form of communication, even if it is with Emira, at least not until she addresses the demon in the room. Her sister, the eloquent Witch she is, reads her instantly.</p>
<p>"You finally did it, huh?" She says, fingers brushing over find Tufts of Ginger hair. "You cut it all off; I'm only mad that you didn't ask me to help." She's teasing Amity, trying to make her feel better. Trying not to alienate her. Trying to downplay that she's made a decision that could affect her entire life.</p>
<p>"It brings out the gold in your eyes," Emira smiling but, they're both skirting around the subject, what their parents might do to her, what mother is going to do when she finds out. Neither of them wants to think about it. Amity knows Emira and Edric have her back, but the twins aren't always around, and their mother has always been able to make excuses to get Amity alone. Whether it be shopping, needing some mother-daughter time, or taking her to the salon, they never actually go to those places. Amity's been to so many psychologists over the years, the minute they even slightly disagreed with her mother it was off to the next office. She would berate Amity for hours on end about why she wasn't good enough or grateful for the life she has been given.</p>
<p>Her mother hated her, hated not being the center of her father's attention. She hated that Amity's hair was brown like his, that she couldn't just match her siblings. She hated Amity because she was a mistake. A broken, disabled mistake that did not live up to the Blight name. She was inferior. She was a glass sculpture that kept getting thrown; while its owner waited for it to crack so that it could be tossed aside.</p>
<p>She doesn't have a single good memory of her mother, not even from early childhood. She learned quickly that her mother didn't love her. She'd say, "stop flapping your hands; it makes you look like an imbecile. Sit still, Amity." And she'd do it even though it felt like electricity was burning through her skin. "Stop rocking, you insolent child; you're making me look bad." She'd stop doing it in front of her, stop showing emotion; she'd shut down. "This is not the way a Blight acts."</p>
<p>It's almost like her mother can tell when she can't speak; the words felt too heavy. "What are you? Some kind of mute? speak when you're spoken to!"</p>
<p>"Amity," Emira's gentle voice brings her back to the moment, and even though it feels incredibly wrong, she forces herself to make eye contact. "You know Edric, and I will always be there for you, right? No matter what happens. You're more important to us than mother and father."</p>
<p>"I know" it's barely a whisper "I love you too" There's a sad expression on her face and Emira desperately wants to comfort her.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I feel like Luz's mom would have put her in therapy the minute she got diagnosed; a lot of medical insurance in the United States actually covers ADHD medicine and treatment if you are lucky enough to have good Healthcare. Both of these characters will deal with their emotions differently, and I'm trying to write them as realistically as I can.  I imagined Ed and Em being very protective of Amity due to the mentally hostel environment they grew up in.  Sorry I haven't posted in a while. I'll try to be better; I started back on my medication, so that might help.</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I still believe that everybody should shave their head at least once. It'll give you a big confidence boost. </p>
<p>au revoir.</p>
<p>P.S</p>
<p>If you would like more information on sensory issues, you can visit this <a href="https://www.understood.org/en/learning-thinking-differences/child-learning-disabilities/sensory-processing-issues/understanding-sensory-processing-issues?utm_source=google&amp;utm_medium=paid&amp;utm_campaign=evrgrn-may20-fm&amp;gclid=CjwKCAjwq_D7BRADEiwAVMDdHot62ysMgOyYvai7Wksz2uR1I8hfKae0orIVWJyQqNE1CcMATzXkUxoCHgYQAvD_BwE"> website</a></p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>